Sunday, 21 March 2010

"When you give me nothing to pull away from, and I give you something to turn to, and you pull away."

When you give me nothing to pull away from, and I give you something to turn to, and you pull away, a matter of centimetres across the sheets, a matter of a surface area of skin dilating by inches. A matter of two simple slides that slip across the eyes. These are the only things that keep me out, that come between. I want to cuddle like puppies, like lovers, like two people who are stuck on the same life raft. Like hostages hatching a plan. Like enemies drawn together by necessity. Strangers with a common goal, like light that twists against a shoal of fish who move as one... but you pull away from me and leave me nothing to pull away from.

I can be strong, I can be the one to take the weight, even when I can't carry my own freight. I can be the guy who takes the brunt, who brings the light. I can love you harder than you ever have been loved. I can be your family. I can know you inside out, I can see you perfectly, crystalline; rely on me. If we're a team then learn to need me when you need me. Be a whole and not a half. It will never be too soon to make a joke so long as the punch line makes you laugh. Taking all your feelings and burying them in sleep only makes you weaker and makes for darker dreams. I can't lie here and pretend that we're ok when our friendship isn't enough to take the rough with the rougher. I believe one thing: that neither you or me should suffer. Let me be the buffer, let me be enough to hold your stuff, the dam to take your bursting - do your worst - I'll be nurse, take the curses, just promise when the cloud disperses that you'll let me bring the remedy, send chemicals that run steadily, that make you realise that you're human, that you're my man, that the hand you're holding's still my hand.

Just don't pull away from me, don't refuse the crutch you need to lean on. I know you've been crushed, sometimes you feel you aren't enough. You are enough, you'll see, that if you take what you need, I'll be doing the thing that makes me feel strength the length of which I never understood could exist in the aftermath of a broken wish. But don't pull away from me, when in 10 minutes you'd be healed if you could trade your lonely journey for a journey with me. Baby please, five minutes in my arms and you won't have to explain what you feel, just let it go, release, shout it, beat it, sneeze it, so we can turn on the tv and laugh at something funny, and be the best that we can be - it's that easy - it's so easy - "it's too easy!" It doesn't have to be. We don't have to rile. Cause it's never too soon to make a joke, so long as the punch line makes you smile. If I give you something to pull away from then don't pull away from me.